The Eleventh Doctor!

I am looking forward to Matt Smith's take on the Doctor so much more after seeing this trailer. I dig the third Doctor-esque uppercut. Geronimooooo!!!! More>>

Sir Terry on Religion.

Terry Pratchett is the funniest man in the world. He may also be one of the smartest. More>>

Cameron's New Clothes

I'm going to be perfectly blunt: Avatar is not a good movie. It's not necessarily a bad film either, but it's very bland and plays it safe on almost every level. How does a film that cost nearly ten times the amount of District 9 have visuals that pale in comparison? Why do all the characters look like cartoons? Why is there so much out of place cursing? Why is Michelle Rodriguez playing herself yet again?

It's never a good sign when I can't name a single ancillary character's name one day after seeing a movie. The only reason I remember the protagonists name is that it's repeated ad naueseum. My brain is throwing up a 404 error with every concurrent review that I've read. Are these people seeing a different movie than I am? What, besides price, is Cameron revolutionizing in cinema?

I am seriously wondering if we are experiencing a Phantom Menace style mass delusion with this movie. We have convinced ourselves that this movie is so game changing that we see much more than is actually there. I think there is a very strong possibility that in a couple of weeks people will start realizing that this movie is not very good, and start attacking it ala Phantom Menace.

Spoiler Warning !!!


Ok, here's the gist: Jake Sully's brother is killed on the planet of Pandora. Jake is recruited by Evil corp to take his place in the Avatar program. Jake uses his Avatar to interact with the Na'vi while feeding intel to Colonel Scarhead. He is accepted instantly by the aliens while continuing to spy on them for Crazy Colonel. Jake falls in love with female protagonist alien and mates with her to the sound of incredibly cheesy music ripped off from Enya. The humans attack the Na'vi whilst they are cuddling and rips up a magic ancestor tree. Girl alien protagonist finds out that Jake has betrayed them and never wants to see him again. Jake jumps on a flying Deus Ex Machina and is suddenly the leader of the Na'vi. He unites all of the Na'vi tribes in twelve minutes and they mount a defense against the humans who are now gunning for their other magic ancestor tree. There is an epic fight where stuff blows up and alien dino chickens fight fat airplanes and bugocopters. The battle. of course, evolves into a one on one melee with Jake and Colonel Badguy climaxing with Alien girl protagonist perforating Badguy with arrows. The humans are kicked off of Pandora and the magic tree sucks Jake permanently into his Avatar. The end.

I just saved you thirty bucks.
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Solomon Kane

Whoa. Where the hell did this come from? I love and devour almost everything Robert Howard has ever done, ditto on Lovecraft. Solomon Kane influenced almost every "dark" hero in some way. This movie looks like it could in fact do him justice. I'm sure it will be better than Arnie's abysmal Conan films which dumbed down the character exponentially. Crossing my fingers on this one. More>>

Best of 09: Top Films

4. Coraline


This is the book that first made Neil Gaiman a household name. American Gods brought in critical acclaim, Sandman won every award possible, but Coraline placed him on countless bookshelves young and old. Why does this book resonate so? I think that Coraline's too busy parents make her quite easy to identify with. Most of us have been in her shoes (or felt like we were) at some point. Gaiman mixes this angst deftly with a classic dark fairytale equal parts scary, funny, and thrilling.

How would all this translate to the screen? Exquisitely. Coraline had a second great visionary attached to it in the person of Henry Selick the stop motion visionary. The colors and movement bring this fairytale to life, and the dark humor translates fantastically to the stop motion medium. The voice work is top notch, specifically Dakota Fanning as Coraline and Keith David as the wuss-puss. Add to this an ethereal faux French soundtrack by Bruno Coulais and you have an absolute classic.

Note: This is one of the best 3d films I have ever seen. Unfortunately the same can not be said of the 3d process at home with the old school red and green glasses. You still get the movie which is quite amazing on its own. More>>

Shut Up Woman Get On My Horse

This is insane. It will also insert itself into your brain and never let you go.

Sweet Lemonade!!! More>>

Tron Legacy reveal.

The first released image looks really good, kind of cyberpunky. The helmetless look is pretty interesting, I wonder if they'll don them when in a game? Hit the jump to see the poster.


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Best of 09: Top Films

5. Zombieland


How is it possible that two excruciatingly funny movies about zombies exist in the same Universe? Will this cause some sort of personification of entropy to descend upon Earth and reap the souls of the living? Perhaps it just means that zombies are inherently funny. Although putrification can be quite humorous, I have a feeling that intelligent writing and a love of the genre may be the reason behind this phenomenon.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Zombieland succeeds in every facet as a comedy and a horror film. It's the filmic equivalent of finding extra fries at the bottom of the bag....a real treat. Not too mention one of the best cameos in recent history.

Don't forget the rules of Zombieland:
1. Cardio
2. Double Tap
3. Wear Seatbelts
4. Beware of Bathrooms
5. No Attachments
6. Cast Iron Skillet
7. Travel Light
12. Bounty paper towels
17. (Don't) Be a hero
18. Limber Up
22. When in doubt, know your way out
29. The Buddy System
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things More>>

Short and Angry Reviews

The newest Avatar still.

Flashforward (The Book) : Oh noes! We screwed up the world! Now I am a robot in the future!

Flashforward (The ABC Series) : Oh noes! I'm an alcoholic! ZZZzzzzzzzz

V (The Revamped ABC Series) : Dammit, they weren't called V's. They were the visitors. Do we call the enterprise crew Star Trek's?

Family Circus: I'm convinced this is some sort of avant garde humor. The art of the non joke.

And Another Thing: If I believed in the devil this would be his handiwork. Leave. The. Hitchhikers. Guide. Alone.

Karen Armstrong: You put your wishy in. You take your washy out. You put your wishy in, and wave your hands about. More>>

I.M.P.S. The Relentless Chapter 2

I.M.P.S. The Relentless Chapter 2 from Blacksheep Productions on Vimeo.

Whoo hoo! Better late than never. More>>

Reach for the Starman

The Starman Omnibus, Vol. 1
DC Comics

Real emotion. Real emotion is a rarity in any sort of fiction. One of the things that separates a classic story from merely a popular one. It's a double rarity for said fiction to create living, breathing characters who nearly step off the page and speak to you. James Robinson and Tony Harris's Starman is one of these rarities.

The mid nineties were a bleak time to be a comic fan. Over muscled mono-syllabic buffoons carrying guns the size of a small Balkan nation were the rule. Some of the leaps made in the eighties by cutting edge books like Sandman and Watchman had catapulted the medium into the public eye, but speculation had reared it's ugly head and pumped hundreds of vapid "collectible" comics into the market.

This glut, while ultimately very harmful for the industry also ushered in a handful of truly remarkable titles that probably wouldn't have been released in the previous decade. James Robinson and Tony Harris set out to revamp a third string hero, A Justice Society of America old timer named Starman. However Robinson and Harris's Starman was much different than his Golden Age counterpart, who just happened to be his father.

Jack Knight had absolutely no ambition to become a hero, a fact that he makes plain throughout the entire book (which collects the first seventeen issues of the comic). Jack just wants to run his junk shop and leave the heroic exploits to his father and brother ( David Knight, who took over the mantle of Starman after Their father Ted retired). Unfortunately, Jack's idyllic existence isn't meant to last and David is assassinated while patrolling Opal city and Ted Knight is attacked and hospitalized.

Jack Knight may not want to become a hero, but unfortunately he IS one. He has to wield a backup cosmic rod as necessity to save his own hide and gradually falls in to becoming a full time hero. Much like Peter Parker before him, Jack is a real person with real motives and problems. Also like the Webslinger, he has an amazing cast of supporting characters that nearly jump off the page.

James Robinson's dialogue is whip sharp and Tony Harris's beautifully realistic and expressive art brings a wonder to the series that is not present in comics very often. Starman is a fantastic series and I give it my highest possible recommendation.

The Specs
I think I like the format of this book a bit more than the behemoth Absolute editions that DC has solicited for a couple of years now. This volume adheres to more of a standard Hardback size while retaining the high quality paper and color separation that makes the artwork really pop off the pages. The price is also considerably lower than the absolute editions which is also a big plus in my book. The standard DVD style extras are also included with sketches, a cover gallery, and commentary.

All in all a quite superb package.









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All New, All Different!

As you may have noticed, there have been very few updates here within the last few months. I originally started this blog to speak on a variety of issues pertaining to secularism, theistic criticism, and scientific discovery. I began to feel as if this ground has been tread by several excellent blogs and that mine was essentially just repaving the same highway. So from this point on Society of Heathens is going to be experiencing a rebirth. I will still speak about the topics of science and secularism, but SoH will become much more based upon my stream of consciousness. I'll post more about this and the upcoming Project: Yellow in the coming days. Excelsior, True Believers! More>>

Birds are Weird

This is awesome. Some more Professor Dawkins goodness with the added bonus of the Galapagos Islands. I want to go on a Darwin cruise so badly. More>>

Baloney Detection as an Art Form - Michael Shermer

I have been neglecting the Society for a little while now, so I haven't had a chance to post any of the newly minted RDF TV videos yet. Now I have, and I feel all the better for it. I'm also a bit hungry. More>>

Pious Manipulation

I am worried.

I think there is a very dangerous movement sweeping through the religious. Corporations and other special interests are using fear and belief manipulation to form a ready made lobbying group out of America's Christians.

Whatever your opinion is about the health care debate that's going on, it does any of us little good for a callow former governor to try to hijack the stage with accusations of death camps and mandatory abortions.

The new shrieking Republican fringe is infiltrating the town hall meetings with their representatives disguised as John Q. Public. They hold signs that contain thinly disguised screeds awash in bigotry and fear mongering. How long before these people finally incite a violent tragedy?

Let's hope cooler heads can prevail. More>>

Jesus Hates Figs

There has undoubtedly been a time in your life when you were angered by a tree. The stupid leafy oxygen producing bastards are so damned smug it makes me sick. So it goes without saying that encountering an out of season fig tree should invoke rage and disgust from even the most meek.

What would Jesus do?

He would curse the hell out of that stupid tree.

Matthew 21:18-22

Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately the tree withered.

When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. "How did the fig tree wither so quickly?" they asked.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Mark 11:12-14, 19-25

The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.

When evening came, they went out of the city.

In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, `Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

So this either points to the son of God having a disturbing anger management issue, or he just enjoys being a dick. Why didn't he just curse the Romans? Does Jesus only possess vast arboreal powers that are inefficient against flesh. Is Jesus the Aquaman of religious figures, only possessing crappy and extremely limited superpowers?

Perhaps these are just apocryphal stories that have no basis in History or reality. Curiouser and curiouser. More>>

Thank You Senator Gronstal

This very brief statement by Iowa Senator Gronstal could be extremely prescient. It gives me hope for the future. More>>

Randi at Butler.

I'm going to be attending James Randi's lecture at Butler University tomorrow, so to get in the spirit and to celevrate the JREF's Youtube resurrection let's check out Why We Still Believe. More>>

The Moral of the Story: Bears Can Be Mean

I for one believe that all of our morals and values come from the Bible. I thought I would start a new feature here at ISOH to clarify how specific Bible verses can be applied to the morals of our present.

I will begin this undertaking with 2 Kings 2:23-24 24:

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

I lied about the morality thing as this is just an opportunity to mercilessly mock Biblical scripture. The high road is for other blogs.

Elisha, much like Larry David, was a bald man. Also like Mr. David, he seems to operate on another plain of human interaction than the rest of us.

Instead of loudly arguing with someone about who's responsibility the return of a shirt is or refusing to take a house tour, Elisha asks God to kill some mocking children with a fucking bear.

So apparently it is ok to murder through an Ursine proxy. This is something that I was unaware of and I will see if I can twist this into my advantage.

I wonder how difficult it would be to train some bears to become my servants. I suppose I could always just pray for the bears to smite my enemies...although I've been trying to do that for years to no avail. Maybe I should try to pray directly to the bears. More>>

Tim Minchin is the Coolest.

This song is called Ten Foot Cock & A Few Hundred Virgins. I think that pretty much says it all really. Tim is the bees knees by the way.

God invented wanking. More>>