Salvation Army of Darkness

There are quite a few reasons I actively dislike the Salvation Army. Dislike may be too mild of a reaction, but I try to stay away from calling organizations parasitic fundamentalist cults in polite company.

Let's start out with the name Salvation Army. Rarely does the word army follow anything that isn't threatening. We will give you salvation whether you like it or not! Considering their record on pouring money into anti-homosexual and anti-equal marriage groups I think that the name may be more appropriate than they intended.

Where does that money that you plunk into the bucket actually go to? I think we would be naive to think that the money goes directly to efforts to stock food banks when the Salvation Army operates a billion dollar network of churches. Why waste money that could be going directly to people in need to a huge religious corporate entity?

Another cult like aspect of the Salvation Army is their perplexing marriage policy. Johnny Harsh, an officer in the S.A. and an ordained minister, was asked to resign due to his engagement to a non member. Supposedly this is for reasons both "practical and spiritual" but this smacks to me of the kind of bizarre exclusionary behavior exhibited by Scientologists and the LDS.

Now let's get down to the real meat of the matter, the bell ringers. That piercing, hellish clang that I can hear inside my head long after the red poncho ed panhandler has left my presence. This is the aural equivalent of someone poking you in the ass with a sharp stick and chanting, "Give me money! Give me money! Give me money! Give me money! Give me money! ...etc." Usually when you are mugged, the criminal has the decency to not make you feel guilty by making sad faces and mournfully ringing a bell before taking your money.

This Christmas season, do a little homework and donate directly to a local food pantry or an equivalent so that your money goes directly to those who need it. Lets stop feeding the Salvation Army's infrastructure and put that money where it belongs.