Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The List: 5 Weird Religious Toys


There is a disturbing number of people out there that think every aspect of a child's life must be slathered in dogmatic drivel, lest they be tempted by the hedonistic secular world. This has caused the creation of some incredibly bizarre toys that surely must have paralyzed the child with disappointment when presented with . Here are 5 insanities foisted upon their disappointed spawn.

5. The Armor of God Play Set
A nice suit of armor and flimsy plastic sword, a staple of childhood and not at all strange. The large emblazoned cross isn't even that odd, as the iconography is included on most commercial costume armor. The surreal part of this toy is it's product description. Used to combat the devil.

So apparently, the devil is extremely vulnerable to plastic much like fairies and cold iron.

4. Almighty Heroes David

David must be the alter ego of Marvel Comics B Lister Quasar. Suddenly the bible makes much more sense now! it doesn't.

3. Nosh

This is easily the best plush toy based on amputated ear pastry ever!

2. Plastic Frogs

From the product description: These Green Plastic Frogs, a great Pesach Toy, will liven up any Passover Seder. Scatter the Green Plastic Frogs on your Passover Seder table or just let the children play with this great Pesach Toy.

What better way to tell your children that you love them than by making them reenact a plague.

1. Book of Mormon Chess Set
With this amazing chess set you can relive the Joseph Smith's quest to cast the Gold Tablets deep into Mount Doom.

Bonus. Ein O Air Pressure Science Kit

This "science" kit is hawked on Ken Hamm's Answers in Genesis site and I will forgo the easy joke pertaining to hot air experimentation.

OK, I guess I didn't.

1 comment:

  1. Funny! I'm seeing some Buzz Lightyear in David, too...


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